D$B FIELD MANUAL // ISSUE FEED ● LIVE   DOPESHITBITCH.COM
📖 CLASSIFIED: MINIONS ONLY
> manuals.exe --unlock

D$B
FIELD MANUAL.

uhmm we're on D$B 4.0 rn so please bare with us.

in the meantime, wtf this place actually is: we put people on. field manuals on whatever's got us curious. snowboards, riffs, rockets, curses, crimes against physics. for punks, metalheads, adrenaline junkies and rabbit-hole people. read 'em free, or find one printed somewhere you didn't expect.

tbh we don't even know, we kinda just figure it out as we go.

FREE ONLINEPRINTED + LEFT IN THE WILDNEW ONES ON THE 13THPUNKS · METALHEADS · SHREDDERS · NERDS
FRESH
!!!
01

The issues

PICK ONE. YOU CAN'T LOSE.
VOL. 2 // NEWTON.EXENOV 2026

Ride the
Tangent.

1 video game · 1 clay tablet · 1 carnivorous plant · 1 roof

The 3,700-year-old trick behind your games, your GPS and every bridge you've crossed: guess wrong, slide down a tangent, guess again. Newton-Raphson and its gang, and what happens when the curve fights back.

READ IT FREE →
VOL. 1 // EVAL.EXENOV 2026

The Horse
Couldn't Count.

1 horse · 1 rocket · 1 bridge · 1 guillotine

DECLASSIFYING

A horse that "did math", a rocket that blew up over old code, and how to tell if something actually knows the thing or just learned to read the room.

the first print run went out with things in it we can't show you. the public cut is being declassified now.

TELL ME WHEN IT'S OUT
VOL. 3 // ???.EXEDROPS ON THE 13TH

[REDACTED]

--:--:--:--DAYS · HRS · MIN · SEC

Nobody knows what's in it. Not even Evol. (Evol knows. Evol won't say.)

GET IT FIRST →
🔎 FOUND ONE?
02

Found one in the wild?

YOU'RE A MINION NOW
FREEZE FRAME*record scratch*

yep. that's you, holding a weird little magazine you found on a bench, in a laundromat, at a bus stop or under a coffee cup.

you're probably wondering how you got here. we left it there. on purpose. for you, specifically. (and for whoever sat there before you, but they didn't pick it up. you did.)

so you're a minion now. there's no test. there's no fee. that's the whole thing.

  1. Keep it or pass it on. Read it, then leave it somewhere better than where you found it. Field manuals are supposed to travel.
  2. Read the rest here, free. Every manual lives on this page. No paywall. Evol hates paywalls (he loves stickers).
  3. Get the next one first. New manuals drop on the 13th. Get on the list and they come to you before they hit the street.
  4. Slap a sticker somewhere. That's how you tell other minions you've been here. Shtickers →
EVOL APPROVED 💚

Put me on the list.

One email when a new manual drops on the 13th. That's it. Tick the box if you want a paper copy saved for you when the print edition exists.

we only email you about the manuals. unsubscribe any time from any email. privacy.

03

How to read a field manual

DECODER RING

EVOL SAYS ▸

The shop's pet interrupts. He is never helpful. He is always right.

CASE FILE ▸

A true story from history where the idea saved someone, or didn't.

*RECORD SCRATCH*

The part where it all goes wrong. Usually the best part.

> TL;DR.EXE

The whole manual on one card. For the bus stop.

manuals are written with AI, checked by a human, and fried by a villain. if we got something wrong, tell us and we'll fix it in the next print.